Alright so I've realized that lately I've been blogging too much about relationships and emotional crap and not enough about the other reason I love dating- S-E-X!!! God its so perfect with Steven. Its super hot and intimate at the same time. Plus hes totally into me, thinks I damn sexy, and wants to do it all the time! He's got that young-20s sex drive hell yeah! Every night we spend together we do it at least once and then in the morning also. I've never been all that down with morning sex- but with him Im totally comfortable I don't care I just go for it! And he loves it :).
Anyways he's got a bit of a wild streak in him, its fun! Last weekend at a party, we rode out on the 4 wheeler to a viewpoint over the lake and it was so beautiful we were just standing there looking and talking and kissing. I could tell he was getting antsy...we had just passed out the night before...he even picked me up with my legs wrapped around his waist ya know? So cute. Suddendly he grabbed my hand and said, "lets go up there", and took me up on a little hill and just layed me down in the grass and took my pants off and we just did it right there on the ground in the open in broad daylight! It was fun and spontaneous and kinky!
Then the next night we went out to the lodge where he house-sits sometimes. Amazing house, killer spot, I would love to have it (or just have a party there!). Anyways when we got there he gave me the grand tour and was very excited to show me the steam double-head shower! So...feeling a little frisky myself...I decided to show him a good time! We stripped down and hopped in and turned on the nice hot steam jet and both shower heads. It started out with us just hugging and holding and stroking eachother. Then we washed eachother down with body wash...man it feels so good to have someone wash you with that stuff! Your skin gets all clean and slippery and when you rub bare skin on bare skin with a layer of slippery soap inbetween, oooh its one of the best feelings in the world :). Then, it got pretty hot in there, we got steamed up, and of course started going at it. He sat on the bench and kept trying to get me to climb on top of him sitting up, but I was afraid of slipping off and cracking my skull on the tile! So we tried a few other positions. I sat on his lap backwards, then we tried standing up (but too much height difference between us), then moved to doggystyle with me bent over holding onto the wall. God damn that was hot! he was pounding me hard and I had to put my hand on the wall to pad my head! At one point I looked down and saw his muscular legs (I love his legs!) planted behind me, supporting his movements of fucking me, and it was so amazing I guess I understand where guys get off on the visual. Then we took a breather and I went down on him. Tried my best to let him have the full-on view of my boobs with water tricking down them and my lips and hands working on him. I got all hot- the steam spout was right on me! Then he finally didnt give me a choice about sitting on his lap on the bench, he just pulled me onto him (God I love it when they take control like that!). He held onto to me to make sure i didnt go flying off. I had to hold his head so it didnt bang into the tile wall! God it was hot, we were grinding on eachother hard...the build up was so drawn out...and the steam, and his hotness, and the griding action, and his strong arms holding me...it was just too much! I came so hard!! I swear it lasted for like 2 mins straight and I was in exctasy the whole time! It was amazing!!! Then I just stood back and watched him under the hot water, checked out his smokin hot bod and beautiful face, he looked like one of the Baldwin brothers- only hotter!!! Goddamn what a gorgeous hunk of man meat! And he wants me just as much as I want him!!! :)
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
I'm a double dipper!!!
God I am such an idiot!!! Steven (aka Neighbor Boy) is absolutely amazing and wonderful and sweet and hot and fun and totally digs me and I did the one thing that is his greatest fear! I double dipped!! With Ryan!!! AHHH WTF am I doing?!?!? You dumbass!!! you are going to fuck it all up! I mean, are you so afraid of commitment that you purposley fuck shit up? Do you think you don’t deserve happiness or what?!? Even tho we arent officially together yet, he doesn’t deserve me to do this to him!
How it happened…I could tell Ryan had been feeling badly about ditching out on my bday and he was surprised I still wanted to be his friend. He called me last night after work and asked me to come meet him at the bar (LOL 3rd night in a row at that bar). We had a few drinks with some of his co-workers and boss and then he invited me back to his place. He sat down on the couch and I went and cuddled up next to him. He told me I shouldn’t do that very long because it would make him horny LOL! Well I did it anyway. I kissed him (ARG!) and one thing led to another and pretty soon he picked me up and carried me to his bed :)
So, that was BAD but one good thing did come out of the night- we actually had a great talk. He apologized about my bday and said he had been feeling bad about it and explained further about his situation. I told him I understand his situation and that I like him a lot and would be willing to wait if I felt there was hope, but that my hope was quickly diminishing. He just doesn’t have anything to give back right now, and I don't think I can do that, despite how much I like him.
BTW- his friend thinks he does like me and sees we have a connection :)
Anyways….we had a great talk and he spoke his peace and I spoke mine and I took a deep breath and told him about Steven. I told him I would like to wait for you but not if Im getting anything back at all and I met a guy who totally digs me and wants to be with me, so I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid he would feel like I was putting him on the spot or giving some sort of ultimatum, so I wrote this email to him…..
Ok we are bad!!! :) But hey I just wanted to let you know that last night when I told you about this other guy I wasn’t trying to give you an ultimatum or anything like that. I just thought you should know. I understand where you are coming from with your situation and I cant say Im not dissapointed but also I am not going to let that stop me from getting to know a guy who really digs me. If things work out between us down the road, that’s awesome, but if not Im fine with that too. Whatever happens is meant to happen. As long as you are in my life in some way I will be happy :) ok?
and here is his reply…..
Yes this i know! That is the coolest thing you have said and not trying to put that into jerk format either! Thanks for understanding were i am in my life and don't be afraid to move on. I will still be your friend your a cool girl but like we mentioned last nite i have commitment issues right now. So lets get Fost in the Lifties hell yeah! Its going to be a nice day outside and i'm pumped for a 3 some J/K lol!! Have a good day and will talk to ya later.
After we did it I went home and went to bed. I really wanted to see Steven but I felt so nasty thinking about doing two guys a matter of hours apart (been there- don’t want to do again!). Plus I just couldn’t do that to Steven. But he ended up calling me after he got home from the bar around 1am. He came over and we talked for a bit then passed out. It was soooo weird tho he brought up the whole double-dipping thing! God is amazingly perceptive and "just knew" or was it coincedence? Either way it made me feel like a giant piece of crap. I lied to him in 3 ways. I told him I havent double dipped and wont double dip and won't lie to him about double dipping if he asks me. He flat out asked me if I have! FUCK! I knew that was a bad decision but I did it anyway….but the sad thing is I like Steven ALOT and I don’t like Ryan enough to throw away what I have with Steven for one night of (so so) sex.
So, TripleSGirl, let this be lesson learned and stay true to yourself and your man and give him what he deserves because I'm thinking if I play it right this could be really good!!!
BIG potential problem tho….I kinda sorta told Ryan I would hang with him tonight for the festivities and then also asked Steven. FUCK. Ryan knows Steven will be there, he even said he would probably see me with another guy and get jealous and decide he wants me (I almost hope that happens, ya Im a sicko, its not that I invite drama but I have to admit I want two hot cool guys chasing after me!). But Steven has absolutely no idea about Ryan and I think it would hurt his feelings to know it was THE Ryan so I might have to either ditch Ryan or keep it on the DL thats who he is. This could get interesting. DUMBASS!!!
How it happened…I could tell Ryan had been feeling badly about ditching out on my bday and he was surprised I still wanted to be his friend. He called me last night after work and asked me to come meet him at the bar (LOL 3rd night in a row at that bar). We had a few drinks with some of his co-workers and boss and then he invited me back to his place. He sat down on the couch and I went and cuddled up next to him. He told me I shouldn’t do that very long because it would make him horny LOL! Well I did it anyway. I kissed him (ARG!) and one thing led to another and pretty soon he picked me up and carried me to his bed :)
So, that was BAD but one good thing did come out of the night- we actually had a great talk. He apologized about my bday and said he had been feeling bad about it and explained further about his situation. I told him I understand his situation and that I like him a lot and would be willing to wait if I felt there was hope, but that my hope was quickly diminishing. He just doesn’t have anything to give back right now, and I don't think I can do that, despite how much I like him.
BTW- his friend thinks he does like me and sees we have a connection :)
Anyways….we had a great talk and he spoke his peace and I spoke mine and I took a deep breath and told him about Steven. I told him I would like to wait for you but not if Im getting anything back at all and I met a guy who totally digs me and wants to be with me, so I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid he would feel like I was putting him on the spot or giving some sort of ultimatum, so I wrote this email to him…..
Ok we are bad!!! :) But hey I just wanted to let you know that last night when I told you about this other guy I wasn’t trying to give you an ultimatum or anything like that. I just thought you should know. I understand where you are coming from with your situation and I cant say Im not dissapointed but also I am not going to let that stop me from getting to know a guy who really digs me. If things work out between us down the road, that’s awesome, but if not Im fine with that too. Whatever happens is meant to happen. As long as you are in my life in some way I will be happy :) ok?
and here is his reply…..
Yes this i know! That is the coolest thing you have said and not trying to put that into jerk format either! Thanks for understanding were i am in my life and don't be afraid to move on. I will still be your friend your a cool girl but like we mentioned last nite i have commitment issues right now. So lets get Fost in the Lifties hell yeah! Its going to be a nice day outside and i'm pumped for a 3 some J/K lol!! Have a good day and will talk to ya later.
After we did it I went home and went to bed. I really wanted to see Steven but I felt so nasty thinking about doing two guys a matter of hours apart (been there- don’t want to do again!). Plus I just couldn’t do that to Steven. But he ended up calling me after he got home from the bar around 1am. He came over and we talked for a bit then passed out. It was soooo weird tho he brought up the whole double-dipping thing! God is amazingly perceptive and "just knew" or was it coincedence? Either way it made me feel like a giant piece of crap. I lied to him in 3 ways. I told him I havent double dipped and wont double dip and won't lie to him about double dipping if he asks me. He flat out asked me if I have! FUCK! I knew that was a bad decision but I did it anyway….but the sad thing is I like Steven ALOT and I don’t like Ryan enough to throw away what I have with Steven for one night of (so so) sex.
So, TripleSGirl, let this be lesson learned and stay true to yourself and your man and give him what he deserves because I'm thinking if I play it right this could be really good!!!
BIG potential problem tho….I kinda sorta told Ryan I would hang with him tonight for the festivities and then also asked Steven. FUCK. Ryan knows Steven will be there, he even said he would probably see me with another guy and get jealous and decide he wants me (I almost hope that happens, ya Im a sicko, its not that I invite drama but I have to admit I want two hot cool guys chasing after me!). But Steven has absolutely no idea about Ryan and I think it would hurt his feelings to know it was THE Ryan so I might have to either ditch Ryan or keep it on the DL thats who he is. This could get interesting. DUMBASS!!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Steven
Ok so I always say I'm not getting my hopes up in order to protect myself, but in this case, fuck it! I am going to be straight up about what exactly I'm feeling. No risk no reward! Maybe I should let my guard down and let myself get excited because I cannot believe this is happening to me!!! Can it really be true? Can it really be this good? Is this for real?!?!
Steven….WOW. Amazing man. Gorgeous. Super hot. Such a sweetheart. Honest and open. Fun. Spontaneous. Smart. Mature for his age. Romantic. And…the kicker….TOTALLY into me. He thinks I'm hot, sweet, and beautiful. And he always tells me. He loves to cuddle with me and say sweet things to me and do things for me. I feel so comfortable around him. I feel like we've known eachother for months or even years. I think about him constantly. We can't keep our hands off eachother. He is amazing in bed. Sexy as hell. Actually wants a girlfriend. And…he thinks he's the lucky one!!!
We met officially and hooked up on my birthday, but we met (unoffically) a couple years ago on my first new years back in town. I was slightly intoxicated and thus said things I wouldn’t normally say. I was talking to him and I thought he was so gorgeous (tall dark n handsome, amazing eyes, birthmark on his beautiful face), I kept telling him "you should be a model". (LOL now it’s a joke between us). I met him a couple times after that, at the bar or people's houses. And, he just happens to be really good friends with my best friends husband's friend, so we have the same group of friends, and we are even neighbors, we just never actually connected until recently. I guess I was judging the book by its cover, I thought that he would be a total cocky asshole. Nonetheless I've thought about him since the day I first met him and always thought how hot he was but never thought he would give me the time of day. And the fact that he is such a sweetheart who totally digs me and thinks Im hot and he's the lucky one- it cant be happening!!! So amazing!!! Could this really be happening for me???
More to follow….I must blog about our sexual adventures…
Steven….WOW. Amazing man. Gorgeous. Super hot. Such a sweetheart. Honest and open. Fun. Spontaneous. Smart. Mature for his age. Romantic. And…the kicker….TOTALLY into me. He thinks I'm hot, sweet, and beautiful. And he always tells me. He loves to cuddle with me and say sweet things to me and do things for me. I feel so comfortable around him. I feel like we've known eachother for months or even years. I think about him constantly. We can't keep our hands off eachother. He is amazing in bed. Sexy as hell. Actually wants a girlfriend. And…he thinks he's the lucky one!!!
We met officially and hooked up on my birthday, but we met (unoffically) a couple years ago on my first new years back in town. I was slightly intoxicated and thus said things I wouldn’t normally say. I was talking to him and I thought he was so gorgeous (tall dark n handsome, amazing eyes, birthmark on his beautiful face), I kept telling him "you should be a model". (LOL now it’s a joke between us). I met him a couple times after that, at the bar or people's houses. And, he just happens to be really good friends with my best friends husband's friend, so we have the same group of friends, and we are even neighbors, we just never actually connected until recently. I guess I was judging the book by its cover, I thought that he would be a total cocky asshole. Nonetheless I've thought about him since the day I first met him and always thought how hot he was but never thought he would give me the time of day. And the fact that he is such a sweetheart who totally digs me and thinks Im hot and he's the lucky one- it cant be happening!!! So amazing!!! Could this really be happening for me???
More to follow….I must blog about our sexual adventures…
Monday, May 4, 2009
Crazy birthday weekend
This weekend was my birthday! Its a time I usually enjoy (although not quite the part about being a year older), but this weekend was just crazy with all the happenings! Its amazing how things can change at the drop of a hat. I went into the weekend thinking and feeling one way, and came of it thinking and feeling something completely different.
As usual, the drama of this weekend was due to man crap. I had a feeling that Ryan was going to ditch out on me for my birthday celebration. And even though I was prepared for it, and half expected it to happen, it still stung when I rcvd the message (a text of all things) saying he wasnt going to make it.
I know I can't force him into anything, or get pissed at him when he doesnt do what i want. So in that way I can see his point of view of not liking that i was giving him a guilt trip about not being there. But, I want people in my life who care about me enough to show up for important events. he knew it was important to me and he knew I wanted him there. But he flaked anyway (via text message, at 6pm, after I had called him 2x), stating "well I have shit going on down here" (read: another girl), or "I have shit going on in my life". Its like hes using that as a cop out for everything. Well, thats BS because I fail to see how having crap going on in his life prevents him from picking up the phone at least calling me on my bday. It didnt seem to stop him from partying with his friends all weekend! And if it is another girl, I knew he wanted to see other people, so thats not too shocking, but its upsetting since he was always giving me the speal about how he wasnt ready, and how he doesnt sleep around. Plus, this is exactly what happened with Sean. I knew he might see other girls at the same time but I didnt think ditching me for that other girl would be part of the deal.
So, he basically sent the message loud and clear that he doesnt care about me. He is so selfish...I cut him a lot of slack before and thought he was acting like that because he was going through rough time. And I wanted so badly want to be there for him, and I would have very patientally waited it out and stuck by him, if I only had some indication that eventually he would come to his senses and his selfish phase would end and he would want to start giving something back to me in return. before I felt he was worth the wait. Now, what he has done really hurt my feelings and changed the way i feel about him. Bad news, its still sucks, I still do have feelings for him, I was hoping things would work out in the end, and I cant even make myself feel better by telling him off. I just have to realize he's not that into me- otherwise he would have been there- and now I have to start the healing process for myself.
Ironic thing is....Ryan used to get pissed when I'd tell him about all the jerks from my past. Now he's one of the jerks who I've let hurt me....
The good news is- theres a new boy on the horizon! I can't believe this has all happened so fast, it hasnt even sunk in yet, but maybe Steven came along at just the right time to rescue me from a bad situation that was only breaking my heart. More on "neighbor boy" tomorrow....
As usual, the drama of this weekend was due to man crap. I had a feeling that Ryan was going to ditch out on me for my birthday celebration. And even though I was prepared for it, and half expected it to happen, it still stung when I rcvd the message (a text of all things) saying he wasnt going to make it.
I know I can't force him into anything, or get pissed at him when he doesnt do what i want. So in that way I can see his point of view of not liking that i was giving him a guilt trip about not being there. But, I want people in my life who care about me enough to show up for important events. he knew it was important to me and he knew I wanted him there. But he flaked anyway (via text message, at 6pm, after I had called him 2x), stating "well I have shit going on down here" (read: another girl), or "I have shit going on in my life". Its like hes using that as a cop out for everything. Well, thats BS because I fail to see how having crap going on in his life prevents him from picking up the phone at least calling me on my bday. It didnt seem to stop him from partying with his friends all weekend! And if it is another girl, I knew he wanted to see other people, so thats not too shocking, but its upsetting since he was always giving me the speal about how he wasnt ready, and how he doesnt sleep around. Plus, this is exactly what happened with Sean. I knew he might see other girls at the same time but I didnt think ditching me for that other girl would be part of the deal.
So, he basically sent the message loud and clear that he doesnt care about me. He is so selfish...I cut him a lot of slack before and thought he was acting like that because he was going through rough time. And I wanted so badly want to be there for him, and I would have very patientally waited it out and stuck by him, if I only had some indication that eventually he would come to his senses and his selfish phase would end and he would want to start giving something back to me in return. before I felt he was worth the wait. Now, what he has done really hurt my feelings and changed the way i feel about him. Bad news, its still sucks, I still do have feelings for him, I was hoping things would work out in the end, and I cant even make myself feel better by telling him off. I just have to realize he's not that into me- otherwise he would have been there- and now I have to start the healing process for myself.
Ironic thing is....Ryan used to get pissed when I'd tell him about all the jerks from my past. Now he's one of the jerks who I've let hurt me....
The good news is- theres a new boy on the horizon! I can't believe this has all happened so fast, it hasnt even sunk in yet, but maybe Steven came along at just the right time to rescue me from a bad situation that was only breaking my heart. More on "neighbor boy" tomorrow....
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