Holy shit what they say about how life can change in the drop of a hat is exactly correct!!! My worst fear came true- the 2 current men in my life had a run in!- but its looking like all its all working out for the better!
After not hearing from Steven for over a week, and shedding tears over him, I had damn near written him off. The same thing basically happened with Sean and altho I wanted desperately to call and stalk and leave messages for him until I got him to talk to me, I finally decided it wasn’t worth my time. If he wanted me, he would call me. And I tried to convince myself I didn’t want a guy that would treat me like that anyway. So I never did leave him any kind of message or anything, I just let it go, and started to move on with my life. Altho this was difficult and painful, I knew it was for the best but still I couldn’t stop thinking about him and agonizing over what I had done so wrong to make him dump me. I felt like a giant looser- I mean if such an immature looser didn’t want to be with me what was so wrong with me??? Truth is, I missed him. I missed his adorable toothy smile and his gorgeous eyes and his laugh and the way he used to mess around with me. I missed spending time with him. I missed having him there to roll over and cuddle on when I woke up in the morning. I missed the sex. I missed the backrubs and the cuddling and the kissing and just having someone around. Theres nothing like loosing somebody to make you realize how much you want them. (Hmmm maybe that’s what he came to realize also?)
Anyways so literally the night (Monday) I had planned on being the last straw is the night it all happened. Go figure. Why do men always come back into my life just as I am starting to get over them?! Damn it. Anyway I had just gotten into bed around 11:30 and heard my phone chime with a text. Low and behold- it was Steven. I was almost scared to open it, but of course I did anyway, with a pit in my stomach. It was cryptic, at best. It read "just met your bf Ryan". WTF?!?! Ok. So I replied "huh" just trying to get a feel for the situation. His reply "ya he doesn’t like me very much". OK, still again, no insight into the situation. I was laying in bed and could only imagine what wad going on wherever they were, I figured the bar. I thought about it for a while and finally replied "hes not my bf but a friend who doesn’t want to see me hurt. which I am right now." PERFECT. I didn’t expect a reply. Or a dump reply. But…."Im sorry I hurt you TripleSGirl. But you freaked me out so I gave some distance". Ok, nothing too weird, typical guy-freak out mode. He said I just got too all about him. Ok, don’t you want me to like you? Besides, hes the one who was always saying how much he liked me. Whatever. Why do men freak out and pull away the moment they realize they have actually fallen for someone???
So I still didn’t really know the situation except that whatever had just taken place was causing Steven to actually talk to me. So I called Ryan and asked WTF was going on down there. It must have just happened just he was drunk and really worked up. He was so worked up I could barely understand what he was saying. But apparently he was with Chad (Steven's boss) and saw Steven and for some reason went right up to him and said "hey- Im Ryan". I guess Steven tried to play it off like he didn’t know who Ryan was, but we all know that’s not the case. Then Ryan said "youre dating my friend Sara". Again Steven tried to act like he didn’t know what Ryan was talking about but I guess Ryan must have persisted cuz whatever he was saying made Steven uncomfortable. I guess he was giving Steven shit about treating me like crap. GO RYAN YOU ARE MY KNIGHT IN SHINKING AMOUR! Yep, he did that for me! He obviously cares about me enuf to confront someone whos being a jerk to me! Risking his own safety! OMG Im getting hot flashes just thinking about it. Yep I now picture the man carrying a sword riding a white horse. Ahhh…
Steven said Ryan was trying to play it cool but had his fists clenched the whole time. With how worked up Ryan was and Steven's response I swear to God I thought they were gonna get into a fight! Ya Ryan does not like him. Thinks hes just a punk kid who doesn’t deserve me and who I shouldn’t be with. (So who I should be with Ryan-you? Ya you don’t want me). Anyways it must have scared some sense into Steven because that night he came over and groveled. Said how sorry he was over and over again. How he didn’t mean to hurt me. How he just got freaked out and didn’t like little things I was going. Just little things. He just said it was moving too fast and he didn’t like it. He said he missed me and he really likes me. So to me it seems salvagable. He kept asking for my foregiveness and if I was mad at him and I said no Im not mad but I do have some things to think about. So now I think I have him in the perfect place. Let him grovel. Let him sweat. Let him proove that heis worthy of my time. But secretly I know Im going to take him back I missed that man and I wasn’t ready for him to be gone! :) :) :) God this better work out…I cant handle much more of the up and down.
The ironic thing about this is, if whatever Ryan said truly is the reason Steven came to his senses, Ryan may have inadvertanlty saved my relationship with a guy he doesn’t want me to be with. He also heightened my feelings for him, which isnt helping the situation! So now while I am gonna give Steven another shot (IF we talk more and Im satisifed that things will change), I want Ryan even more now. He came to my rescue and defended my honor and theres just nothing sexier than that!
So…we will see how this all plays out…but the way I see Ive still got both of these men…and while its not great that they had a negative interaction, its working out for me!!!
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