Out with the old...in with the new??

So they say New Years is the time for "out with the old, in with the new". Then there's that school of thought that says the way you spend your new years is the way you will spend your year. Well, I spent my new years with Sean, and we had great fun, but I don't see us being together this year. Could it be deeper than that? Perhaps I need to look more into it. I did kinda feel like I was chasing him all night, or I could feel him slipping away from me, so maybe thats indicative of how I will spend my year.

I talked to him (very briefly) yesterday for the first time in like 2 weeks. Stopped by real quick to get some stuff. Played with the puppy. He said he would call me this week after he gets his phone turned back on, but I dunno, I'm not holding my breath. Although I am terrified to talk to him because I am so unsure of his reaction, I do need to have at least some closure to this situation. If he doesnt call me I have to decide how much I am willing to go through to get that closure...I am kinda still sick over this...but I dont know we'll see.

I keep trying to tell myself I dont care about him in order to get over it. But I have come to realize that I do miss him! He is deep, introspective, interesting. Isnt afraid to be himself and is one of the most real people I know. He makes me think about who I am and what I present to the world and what I can do with my life. He challenges me! He calls me out on my shit and I like that! And I miss how he would come out of his dark cloud sometimes and mess around and have fun and mess with me. The tickling and ass slapping and flirting. And the sex! Oh the sex! Godamnit! His ex was right- its just not the same with other guys!!!

Other guys you ask? Why yes, there is a new potential on the horizon. He is someone I have met and hung out with before, a friend of someone at work. I actually thought I felt a connection to him before- or maybe I was just attracted to his tall blonde blue eyes? LOL...He was hitting on me one night at the bar, but Sean was there so I had to go home with him. I was looking forward to another night out but knew that might not happen for a while. I was bummed to find out that he had gone back to his home state for an indefinite amount of time. But, then! Lady Luck intervened. Is she back?? perhaps she knew I needed to get over Sean by getting under someone else...

I was at a an outdoor street function, which in January in the PNW can get quite cold. Upon walking back to my car and feeling my frozen toes I decided to stop in one of the local bars to warm up real quick. Maybe a hot tottie? :) Something drew me in there, maybe I knew fate was taking me there? Anyways I ran into the 2 guys- work friend and his tall blonde friend- by total coincedence (or was it?!). Ended up spending the rest of the night with them and til noon the next day since they both crashed at my house. I dont want to get my hopes up but i do like this guy. We had a blast! Laughing the whole time, bantering back and forth, he thought I was funny and cute. I admit when I am on my game I am pretty fucking adorable! :)-....

I like him enough that I told telling myself, TripleSgirl, do this right. Don't fuck it up. Dont sleep with him right away. Let him come to you. Leave something to be desired. But all the rules seem to go out the door when you've got a man in your bed!! So I feel kinda bad about that, I feel like I blew it. I feel guilty, hoping I didnt ruin the suspense. It was okay, but I wasnt that comfortable with the situation (friend was within earshot), and I wasnt that into it (it was 5am, almost 24 hrs since showering last). Plus, I just couldnt help but comparing to Sean. I mean, that man, in addition to having a glorious big dick, he knows how to move those hips, and move mine, and feel the rhythms of our bodies and my needs, and FUUUCKKK! This sucks! Dont compare to other men! Stop! Enjoy what you had! And what may be coming....Hopefully I can forget out slip up and maybe I can do this one right. He's great, and fun, and sweet, and a Cancer (my true love!)...this one might be a keeper....if I can keep him interested...heres to finding out!