Ok, I am not going to get my hopes up and get all excited but I think I really like this new guy!!! The timing is unfortunate, considering that the thing with Sean kinda fucked with my head and I am not really ready for anything else right now, especially anything serious. I am hesitant to jump into another casual relationship also, and scared of getting myself hurt again by falling for a guy that doesnt want anything more from me than sex. At this point I don't know exactly what Ryan is looking for but I am not going to complicate it or rush things by asking those quesitons just yet. In fact I really dig the beginning of relationships in which nothing is defined yet and you are just getting to know one another and everything is new and everything is unknown and there is so much potential….before anyone has expectations or definitions…when you are still feeding off of your chemistry for one another and not worrying yet about long term compatibility. So, I don’t want to fuck that up. And because the timing isnt great for me, and because I am wary about things after Sean (and because that’s still not closed for me), I want to take this very slow. The good thing with him is, I don’t really us having to have "the talk" because I get the sense that we understand eachother without having to come out and say it. However it might not be safe to assume! especially with someone I don’t know that well.
I got to know him better last night. We went to that certain backwards bar with the backwards name. It was so much fun! We laughed and had fun like the other night, but the talk was also at times somewhat serious, which is awesome because I was starting to worry that he had no serious side. He seems to have be the perfect mix between being happy and fun and serious. Kinda like me! Found out about his life growing up, his downfall into drugs and his coming out of it, his ex and his son, and how he feels confused and floating through life because he doesn’t have it figured out yet. I feel the exact same way! There are so many things I wanted to accomplish in my life, but sometimes I feel like my free spirit takes hold and I end up living day to day, just drifting, just surviving, not really living. Maybe we can help eachother get on the right path??... But instead of worrying about himself he wants to help his (our) friend get his life on track. Hmmm this sounds familiar?! More concerned about others than yourself…sounds like me. Maybe that’s why I feel like he and I will get along very well- because we are a lot alike! I admit it- I like him! :0) Like maybe this has real potential….
I got to know him better last night. We went to that certain backwards bar with the backwards name. It was so much fun! We laughed and had fun like the other night, but the talk was also at times somewhat serious, which is awesome because I was starting to worry that he had no serious side. He seems to have be the perfect mix between being happy and fun and serious. Kinda like me! Found out about his life growing up, his downfall into drugs and his coming out of it, his ex and his son, and how he feels confused and floating through life because he doesn’t have it figured out yet. I feel the exact same way! There are so many things I wanted to accomplish in my life, but sometimes I feel like my free spirit takes hold and I end up living day to day, just drifting, just surviving, not really living. Maybe we can help eachother get on the right path??... But instead of worrying about himself he wants to help his (our) friend get his life on track. Hmmm this sounds familiar?! More concerned about others than yourself…sounds like me. Maybe that’s why I feel like he and I will get along very well- because we are a lot alike! I admit it- I like him! :0) Like maybe this has real potential….
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