Yesterday started out kinda crappy but ended up turning out pretty great! The night before last Steven was supposed to come over...we had a whole plan for me to dress up and for him to bring his furry handcuffs!..we dont usually plan like that so this was exciting and there was a lot of build up for me, and I was hoping for him too. I even took a shower and got all ready for him...and then he sent me a text saying he wasnt coming. I understand, he was tired and had to work early, but what pissed me off is that I fel tlike he didnt even take my feelings into consideration at all. He could have come over earlier, or least let me know earlier in the day that he wasnt coming. Then I tried to call him and he didnt answer my call which really pissed me off. I sent him a text saying he was a jerk! Then I called Ryan and made plans with him for the next day so I could "accidentally" be busy if Steven tried again for the next night.
But my plan kind of backfired. I felt pretty guilty about calling him a jerk and I started to get that sick pit in my stomach when things are not good between us. I would rather swallow my pride a little bit and apologize for something that I dont feel at fault for so things can be all good between us then the alternative. So I sent him a text saying sorry for calling you a jerk but I am kinda pissed. He kinda got pissy back, saying he had to get up really early and all this. So I explained to him that I was upset because I was looking forward to it and waiting for him and I would appreciate if he considered my feelings and just let me know ahead of time if plans changed. He didnt really respond to that but continued to text me throughout the day about basic stuff (which is very unusual) so I knew he was just trying to get in good with me again. Later in the night he came in with the actual apology, said he was sorry for being a jerk and not coming over and he feels bad and he wants to come over tonight :)
Then later that evening and night he started it up again. I hadnt been with Ryan 15 minutes when i got the first text! I swear its like he knows! Never fails, everytime I'm with Ryan, he will message me! We were texting while I was laying on Ryan's lap watching a movie while he dozed off! I lied my little face off and told him I was home in bed...luckily he didnt ask to come over!
So both boys' attitudes towards me were pretty positive yesterday! Ryan was loving and huggin on me and calling me hot and lovin my spunky attitude and kicking himself for not snagging me sooner. He was defintately jealous Steven...didnt really say that out right but basically said its hard for him to hear me talk about it cuz he does care about me. he said our friendship is very important to him and I reciprocated. God I know i shouldnt feel this way but I cant help but feel like he and I are darn near perfect for eachother. I just get that feeling when Im with him that everything is as it should be :)
But I'm enjoying Steven right now, he's a good distraction for me while Ryan works thru his custody stuff and plus it makes Ryan sweat a little bit and want me all that much more! Maybe things are working out the way they are supposed to.
And Steven was in apology mode yesterday...hopefully hes realizing I can be pretty awesome as long as he treats me right...I am looking forward to him coming over tonight! So Im feeling pretty good. I cant believe I got lucky enough to have both these hot men in my life!!!
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