R&R with both men

Ahhh, Labor Day weekend. A great opportunity for some R&R, and in my case, some R&R with my two men!

Friday night I left work early on the urging of a co-worker and started drinking early! Met up with the group of co-workers for the bday bash and Ryan and a few others came along. People dropped off during the night, and it ended up just being me, Cort and the 'Boji Boys'. It was so much fun! We drank sangria, danced, and took all kinds of silly pics! Cort spilled red wine on my pink sweater, so all 4 of us went into the bathroom together while they tried (in vain!) to blot it off! Cort and I tossled our hair before we walked out of there just to mess with people…that must have been a site! LOL!

I was way to wasted to drive so Ryan and I walked back to his car (what a hike! but we held hands the whole way, yeah!) Crashed at his place, tried messing around but we were both so drunk that it didn’t really happen until the next morning. And boy was it good! I love it from behind while laying on my side. And my pants werent even all the way off- just pulled down around my knees- so the tightness of my legs being close together and the restriction of the clothing just got me going! Then (in typical Ryan fashion) flipped me over to do me from behind and the feeling of his big cock with stong morning wood pounding me was too much! My upper body was laying flat but I arched my back to elevate my hips and ass and I knew he was getting off from the view and that angle was just right for his parts to rub on me in all the right places. I spread my legs a little and arched my back until it hurt and let him go to town and before I knew it- bam! I was practically screaming from pleasure and I came sooo hard! I don’t think Ive ever cum in doggystyle before so that was a totally awesome first!

(As an aside, I was thinking about this yesterday- but I think its true what they say about women's sex drive just increasing as they get older. Man I love it! I could have sex every day if I had a man that could keep up with me! maybe that’s why I need 2!)

Anyways so the next night I spent with my main man. He called me at 2am (can you say booty call?!) to come over to his place, which was a nice change. We had AMAZING HOT SWEATY sex on the chair, on the floor, everywhere! The feeling and smell of his body next to mine is unbelievable. I just look at him during the deed and think-"man how did I get this lucky?" He is sooo fucking sexy I cant get over it. I get turned on just being near him! I slept in his bed and stayed over til the afternoon. When I went home I could still smell him on my skin, and kept sniffing it cuz I like the smell so much! When a man's scent just jives well with mine, its more than I can handle! So it was a great time- good sex, got to sleep in his comfy bed, and got to just chill with him the next day. See now, is this not BF/GF behavior?!?

Sunday afternoon I got a text from Steven asking if I wanted to take a drive up the Mountain. WHAT?! So unlike him to actually invite me to do something. I said yes but he never did answer back. Weirdo. So, I was bored and called Ryan. (another advantage to having 2 boyfs!) Went up to his friends place up the road and chilled over there for a bit. Ryan had to go home cuz of his son, and we had plans for me to get booze and meet him over there. Then, right as I was getting ready to leave, Steven called me, so I had to ditch Ryan! I felt really bad, and I think he was kinda bummed/hurt cuz he kept bringing it up- but what can I do if the main man calls me?! If you want my full attention Ryan step up to the plate! It ended up being kind of lame tho, I wanted to get drunk but Steven ended up passing out all early.

Monday I had the day off (yeah for national holidays!) and I spent it with Ryan and his son. We went to the park and the store and then made dinner together. Man when we do that I just cant help but feel like a little family, and like that’s what its supposed to feel like. It feels so right! It feels right with I am with him, period. He's always been something special to me, and I think he feels it too. In fact I know he feels it!

I don't know how much longer this juggling can go on. I'm starting to feel guilty about lying to Steven. I mean, I never could do that before- look someone right in the eye and lie to them outright- but for some reason I can now. Am I colder? Smarter? Sneakier than I used to be? Do I somehow feel justified in what Im doing or am I just making excuses? Either way you would think that my close call the other week would have opened my eyes and made me change my behavior. But, really, nothing has changed except maybe me getting better at lying! I wish I could tell Steven that I am hanging out with Ryan, just be honest with him, but I think that would freak him out and lead to suspicions. And he should be suspicious because despite my best efforts I always seem to give into my cravings for Ryan!

But I know I cant do this much longer. As much as I love having both men in my life and don’t want to narrow it down to just one, Im going to have to. Its not fair to either one of them. I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to hurt either one of them. It would crush Steven's already-fragile trust in women if he found out. And I think its already starting to bug Ryan. But hey- if neither guy will step up to the plate and claim me for their own- then who says I cant juggle them both?!? I don’t know readers…what do you think???